Yo dont text me then not text me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
