READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
