Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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