yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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