Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
