hotel room ftw
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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