Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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