he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
