Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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