we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
