Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.