The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.