We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.