Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.