all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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