Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

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  (715): I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that. http://tfl.nu/f05r
  Replies (7) Good night (1365) Bad night (5443)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper

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  (516): my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper http://tfl.nu/iwmr
  Replies (12) Good night (3873) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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  (914): This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive. http://tfl.nu/c66s
  Replies (11) Good night (1075) Bad night (3984)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

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  (661): I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka. http://tfl.nu/da8y
  Replies (12) Good night (4340) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

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  (925): I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard. http://tfl.nu/47cs
  Replies (13) Good night (3235) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

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  (330): I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break http://tfl.nu/u8kr
  Replies (38) Good night (9149) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day

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  (703): Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day http://tfl.nu/hrk3
  Replies (8) Good night (9873) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week

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  (901): I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week http://tfl.nu/o67r
  Replies (2) Good night (3512) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.

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  (336): You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/k43u
  Replies (4) Good night (2255) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.

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  (480): Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan. http://tfl.nu/ryui
  Replies (5) Good night (3266) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once

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  (707): I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once http://tfl.nu/s42e
  Replies (6) Good night (931) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps

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  (631): Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps http://tfl.nu/unlw
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.

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  (570): I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night. http://tfl.nu/0a56
  Replies (8) Good night (1477) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.

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  (337): Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM. (1-337): How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse. http://tfl.nu/m0tv
  Replies (6) Good night (608) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?

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  (603): Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club? http://tfl.nu/0f4q
  Replies (5) Good night (438) Bad night (337)

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