So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?