His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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