Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...

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  (910): when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going... http://tfl.nu/keeg
  Replies (106) Good night (1724) Bad night (10598)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.

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  (908): I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me. http://tfl.nu/2kto
  Replies (13) Good night (6546) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".

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  (205): That's why they call him "the cheesegrater". http://tfl.nu/ctav
  Replies (6) Good night (907) Bad night (3744)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

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  (815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5
  Replies (3) Good night (1667) Bad night (2728)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.

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  (606): I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises. http://tfl.nu/i8r1
  Replies (7) Good night (1950) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...

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  (321): Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games... http://tfl.nu/gpo9
  Replies (6) Good night (893) Bad night (1668)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.

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  (626): So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential. http://tfl.nu/3n2i
  Replies (5) Good night (2815) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.

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  (928): So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something. http://tfl.nu/zx0n
  Replies (9) Good night (1397) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.

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  (952): Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me. http://tfl.nu/gmmg
  Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.

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  (251): Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile. http://tfl.nu/y0n1
  Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?

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  (717): "Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right? http://tfl.nu/p6ak
  Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?

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  (201): Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh? http://tfl.nu/8f9v
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor

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  (205): he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/c6qy
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"

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  (330): Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!" http://tfl.nu/2ydk
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak

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  (732): I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak http://tfl.nu/zu6f
  Replies (2) Good night (259) Bad night (43)

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