Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.

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(908): a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester. http://tfl.nu/e11n

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(269): View more from Michigan

i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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(269): i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn.... http://tfl.nu/s1xw

Replies (20) Good night (789) Bad night (5431)
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(646): View more from New York

i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation

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(646): i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation http://tfl.nu/0879

Replies (14) Good night (1870) Bad night (5019)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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(610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o

Replies (15) Good night (5385) Bad night (1953)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.

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(918): The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals. http://tfl.nu/o5rq

Replies (4) Good night (2313) Bad night (1920)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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(773): Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth. http://tfl.nu/gnm7

Replies (3) Good night (1928) Bad night (817)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"

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(973): They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!" http://tfl.nu/oehu

Replies (4) Good night (1744) Bad night (637)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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(719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2

Replies (8) Good night (1887) Bad night (675)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg

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(919): We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg http://tfl.nu/wnu9

Replies (6) Good night (1097) Bad night (565)
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(618): View more from Illinois

You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.

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(618): You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there. http://tfl.nu/4ob2

Replies (6) Good night (1101) Bad night (662)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

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(215): There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell http://tfl.nu/i2t1

Replies (10) Good night (2074) Bad night (955)
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(323): View more from California

Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not

(818): View more from California

Stop it right now

(323): View more from California

This time face forward

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(323): Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not (818): Stop it right now (323): This time face forward http://tfl.nu/ev7s

Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (422)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"

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(304): He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance" http://tfl.nu/4970

Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (543)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"

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(423): So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY" http://tfl.nu/9gkr

Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (328)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?

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(763): Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again? http://tfl.nu/daqm

Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (626)

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