so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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