yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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