My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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