Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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