This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she pinky promised me she was 18
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
