I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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