areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
