and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
