I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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