Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
