sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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