my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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