Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
