I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
