gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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