im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
