Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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