Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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