Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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