if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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