What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize