So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
