I will die if light touches me.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So many bounce houses so little time
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
