Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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