Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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