i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
