Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
