So drunk its hurt
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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