i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
