someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize