as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
