Buhtt sex?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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