How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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