I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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