What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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