It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize