Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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