At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish you could order shots online.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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