someone owes me an orgasm
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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