About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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