Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
