He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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